Saturday, October 27, 2012

Shoe Tree

Before you come UP here to Australia for your holiday of a lifetime there are things you should know about Australia.
The animals of course, many and varied, weird and wonderful they are too, but lets talk about the population of humans, now we're really talking weird….
Australians can find a good laugh where it ought not be, I guess we've always had to or there'd be precious little laughing going on up here.
Among the best fun is poking fun at your betters.. (for lack of a better term)…(turns head to side and spits downward…sorry Max!)

I was resting against a tree one hot day watching a single ant struggle with it's burden of one large crumb. As I watched it toil over rough ground it simply tripped over it's own front foot and face planted into the dust, it let go it's crumb and circled menacingly for several seconds gnashing it's fangs before resuming it's crumby journey. It seemed angry, very angry.
I laughed until I had tears in my eyes. Who knew ants got angry? Who knew they could feel embarrassed? Who knew they could trip over? …all those legs and he still couldn’t get it right.

Where was I… Oh yeah,

S 34° 32.097 E 135° 40.226

Driving along a quiet country road between Port Lincoln and Cummins last weekend I came across a typically absurd Aussie joke. (South Australia)
As I pulled over to take a few photos and collect the nearby Geocache   (  ) another car pulled up with two very old women in it. It turned out that one of the women had come to check that her shoes were still in good shape. She told me the story thus:

Some unknown local had at some unknown time and for some unknown reason tied two mens shoes together by the laces and thrown them over a high branch at the side of the road. (There are no houses, turns, intersections nor anything remarkable within many miles.)

That’s it.. end of story!
So.. someone else wrote their name and date on a pair of shoes and threw them over the branch.
So.. someone else wrote their name and date on a pair of shoes and threw them over the branch.
So.. someone else wrote their name and date on a pair of shoes and threw them over the branch…. you get the idea.. right?

Here we are many years later and this poor old tree is festooned with shoes, there are many on other branches, some right at the top and some in every corner of the tree.
There are none dropped on the ground, none old and gnarled and none full of spider webs, someone is doing the housework.
I'm told there in an Underwear tree somewhere in South Australia and I know of another covered in bits of cloth tied to every branch.

You may decide you want to ask 'Why?'…but that would be like yelling "The king has no clothes!" You don’t ask why, you just go along with the joke (whatever that was) or not..

To the Grammar Nazis: Yeah, I know…but what you going to do….


Thursday, October 11, 2012

Why I dont work there anymore....

 I bet you're wondering how I rolled a road roller on a flat road aren't you?

Who knew you could start an aircraft in gear? let alone that it could start moving and shred another plane like that. (the local universities learn to fly plane)
 It's not my fault...they should have painted their ute a bright colour... like Red..Oh..Right! was only a little bomb..


Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Only Joking

You’ve heard of the Air Force’s ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as “Area 51?”
Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were surprised to see a Cessna landing at their “secret” base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.
The pilot’s story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.
By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn’t a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying “you-did-not-see-a-base” briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way.
The next day, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP’s surrounded the plane… only this time there were two people in the plane.
The same pilot jumped out and said, “Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!”

 I love this photo, some countries just know how to load a truck dont they? (I think theres a truck under there)

 Do you see what I see? (or is there something seriously wrong with me?)