Monday, February 2, 2015

The Fine Art of Reversing

Caravan Parks are terrific for watching people try to reverse their rigs.

Reversing a caravan is tricky business. The Caravanning Corps knows this. There is tremendous pressure on getting it right on the first attempt. Many can't cope, and some don't even bother. It's a drive-through site or nothing, for the non-reversers.

4pm is the worst time of day to arrive. Happy Hour is well under way in caravan parks and camp grounds around the globe. Often entertainment is required, to go with the copious amounts of alcohol being consumed. An arrival of a newcomer is just the ticket.

Every right-minded caravaner is sitting on cheap fold-up chairs outside their vans, and are getting stuck into the cask wine and home-brand crackers. A caravan rolls in.

The meerkat heads go up. All eyes are on the newcomers. They find their allocated spot. Both get out of the vehicle to do a cursory check of the site. A discussion between the husband and wife occurs over the best way to reverse into the spot. A bit of friendly banter from other caravaners takes place. "Don't stuff it up" they say. No pressure.

The husband walks back to the vehicle like a condemned man on death row. The wife waits on the caravan site, sweat pouring down her brow. Please don't f*ck this up, she thinks to herself. He starts backing. She is guiding him, yelling instructions. He hits the curb. Damn. Goes forward. Lines it up a bit better this time. Reverses into the spot like a pro. The wife is thanking the good lord above; he got the van in.

Out he gets, chest puffed out like he's just won an Olympic medal. Struts his stuff and heads over to the nearest group of blokes to wax lyrical about reversing. He's been forgiven for hitting the curb. You are allowed 2 hits of the curb before you lose your Caravaning Corps Ticket. He's safe.

The meerkats go back to drinking. Until another van rolls in.....