The following are examples of FREE CALORIES and may be eaten at will.
1. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
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2. If you drink a diet soda with candy, they cancel each other
out.
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3. When eating with someone else, calories don’t count if you
both eat the same amount.
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4. Foods used for medicinal purposes have no calories. This
includes any chocolate used for energy, Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten whole), and
Haagen-Dazs ice cream.
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5. Movie-related foods are much lower in calories simply because
they are a part of the entertainment experience and not part of one’s personal
fuel. This includes (but is not limited to) Milk Duds, popcorn with butter,
Junior Mints, Snickers, and Gummi Bears.
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6. Cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of
breakage causes calorie leakage.
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7. If you eat the food off someone else’s plate, it doesn’t
count.
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8. If you eat standing up the calories all go to your feet and
get walked off.
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9. Food eaten at Christmas parties has 0 calories, courtesy of
Santa.
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10. STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward. (tuck in...).
