A little of this and that, not too much of some things and way too much of other things...
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Monday, June 3, 2013
Paybacks are a Bitch
It took a while for the two fellows I had
paint themselves Black to get back at me… but I always knew it was still
coming.
It was several months later and I had a BBQ
party to go to on a Sunday afternoon, Id decided I didn't want to drink so much
that I couldn’t drive home so arrived with just a few beers to find these two
blokes among the gathering crowd.
It was the usual Aussie BBQ with plenty of
food and alcohol to keep everyone merry until quite late. Eventually though I
reluctantly headed for my car and home and bed to be ready for work Monday
morning.
As I walked out to the car there was
nothing that looked out of place, I opened the drivers door and was immediately
aware of a sickly sweet smell throughout the car. Someone had splashed a large
amount of cheap perfume all over the interior of my car, not nice!... but I
chuckled as I considered that this was their crumby revenge.
I didn't notice anything as I reached for
my seat belt, didn't notice anything as I put the key into the ignition and
started the motor, was relieved that they hadn’t thought to disable my motor…
Didn't notice anything until I popped the lights on and looked forward and
didn't see anything… nothing at all, it was totally Black.
Confused for a second I flicked on the
wipers and heard them bump their way up and back but continued to see nothing,
I got out and ran my hand across the glass and realized it had been
painted…painted Black.
It was only then I heard the laughing
behind me and turned to see most of the remaining people standing together in
the shadows watching me and trying not to fall over from the laughing.
I remembered the craft knife in my console
and quickly retrieved it, fully extended the blade and leaned right out across
the window to try scraping the paint off,
a long curl of dry paint fed off the sharp edge as I drew it across the
window and I leaned forward to take another bite. As I worked my way up and
then down the window the laughter slowly died away as they saw how easily I
dealt with the painted glass.
At last and quite satisfied with the result
I climbed back into the car and reached for the key again only to be stopped
dead in my tracks by the sight through the windscreen…Black!
I reached forward but knew before I touched
the glass that it was covered in paint as well, the bastards had painted both
sides of the glass with pressure packs of Flat Black Paint and used the perfume
so I wouldn’t smell the paint inside the car.
I felt defeated but reached into the
console to retrieve the craft knife once more to scrape the glass from top to
bottom in long smooth strokes. This time the light poured through as soon as I
made the first scrape and the vista slowly opened before me to show the twenty
people now standing right in front of the car laughing once more. A few
couldn’t resist the effects of gravity and laughter and ended up rolling on the
ground in front of my car.
It wasn’t until morning the next day that I
fully saw the damage.
Black Paint all over the window frame, over
spray on mirrors and bonnet and much worse inside the car, the dash, roof,
gauges… damn Black Paint everywhere.
At the time I was driving an old Ford Wagon
that was past its use by date and as reliable as a pensioners erection. I was saving for another car so I
didn't try very hard to clean the car but merely scraped the windows so I could
see and drove on for another six months before buying another car and having
this one crushed. (I really did have it crushed flat)
.
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