Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Cracked it...




Ive been thinking about this for some time and Ive finally cracked it...

The problem with marriage is that it was invented when people lived to the ripe old age of 30....









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Sunday, March 9, 2014

The Aussie BBQ...or Russian Roulette for food.




Anyone can cook meat, all you need is a frypan, temperature controlled stove and a dash of oil.
It takes a real man to cook on raging flames, with the temperature fluctuating between burn and incinerate, when even getting close enough to flip the meat might cost you an eyebrow..thats what makes  it 'Mans work'.

* Perfect, the meat should go on NOW


With a beer in one hand (to put yourself out when you catch fire) and tongs in the other you dash headlong into the flames, turning that which seems scorched enough and moving to the side that which is still on fire, then dash back checking for burning eyebrows and forearms as you do. A long slurp on the beer about now will cool your burning throat..
Now stand back for a few minutes as you recover from the incineration, slurp a few more times on the beer still in your hand and laugh with friends, telling jokes about women, cars, work or the weather. All to soon it's time to tackle the flames again as you prepare by drinking more beer for the upcoming fight, thankful for the fireproof apron and burn cream already rubbed into the groin.
Before long though the cooking is over as most of the meat is set and shrunk like a rubber shoe sole, a sure sign that it's cooked enough. Regardless of the amount of carbon on the surface the cook declares the meat 'cooked' and 'perfect'.


 *Of course you've locked the dog away in the back room from where he looks at you all day like this through the window...



At this stage the guests turn to the woman of the house who has washed and cleaned the BBQ and area beforehand, made numerous salads and sides, supplied drinks, classes, and cutlery, welcomed the guests and continually nudged the man of the house to remind him to turn the meat.
The guests help themselves as is the Australian way, taking a plate, piling up the sides and salads and sorting through the meat for the least burned bits (of whatever that is/was)
After stuffing themselves with beer, salads and meat guests invariably thank the man of the house for HIS great BBQ, the woman of the house would be there...but she's in the kitchen washing dishes and putting away.

* You can see this meat is nearly done by that nice shade of black gradually creeping over the steaks




NB: the woman of the house seems frustrated and tired which greatly confuses the man of the house...after all, HE did all the cooking!



 *You can even BBQ in the great outdoors by mounting the BBQ on the boot of your car like this tripper, you could BBQ as you wait for the kids to come out of school or even while filling up with fuel. (Watch out for the police though)



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Monday, January 27, 2014

Jello Shots for all...






*FIRE BALLS* boil 2 cups water, add jello, 1/2 cup cold water, 2 cups Cinnamon Whisky

*CHERRY BOMBS* boil 1 cup Red Bull, add cherry jello, 1 cup vodka and drop in one maraschino cherry before firm

*RUMMY BEARS* 1 cup boiling water, add any random flavor jello and 1 cup berry vodka, 1 gummy bear in the center of each shot

*LEMON DROPS* boil 1 cup water, add lemon jello, citrus vodka, top with sugar sprinkles just before it’s fully firm

*JOLLY RANCHERS* boil 1 cup water, add melon jello, 1/2 cup vodka, 1/2 cup apple pucker

*JAGER BOMBS* boil 1 cup red bull (in place of water), add black cherry or orange jello, 1 cups jager

*KINKY MALIBU BARBIE* Boil 1 cup water, add peach jello, 1/2 cup Kinky Liquer, 1/2 cup Malibu Coconut Rum

*KILLER KOOL AID* 1 1/2 cups of boiling water. Dissolve 2 boxes of Cranberry Jello (3oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add 3/4 cup of cold water, 1/2 cup of Vodka, 1/2 cup of Gin, 1/4 cup of Rum, 1/4 cup of Chambord and 1/4 cup of Triple Sec

*SEX ON THE BEACH* boil 1 cup cranberry juice, add 3oz pkg orange jello, 3oz peach schnapps, 5oz vodka

*LEMON LIME* boil 2 cups sprite, add lemon and lime jello, 2 cups citrus vodka

*BLUEBERRY* boil 1 cup water, add blueberry jello, 1 cup blueberry vodka

*WATERMELON* boil 1 cup water, add watermelon jello,1 cup watermelon vodka

*HAWAIIAN* boil 1 cup water, add pineapple or blueberry jello, 1 cup coconut rum

*MARGARITA* boil 1 cup water, add 3oz pkg lime jello, 4oz tequila, 4 oz sweet & sour margarita mix. Sprinkle with salt just before firm

*ORANGE TIC TACS* Boil two cups red bull, mix jello two minutes, add two cups mandarin orange vodka

*GRAPE CRUSH* boil 1 cups water, add grape jello, 1/2 cup plain vodka, 1/2 cup Chambord

*FRUIT PUNCH* boil 1 cups water, add mixed fruit jello, 1/2 cup blueberry vodka, 1/2 cup raspberry vodka

*CARIBBEAN* boil 1 cup water, add strawberry-banana jello, Cruzan banana rum

*CHERRY COLA* boil 1 cup coke, add cherry jello, 1 cup cold cola, 1/2 cup amaretto, 1/2 cup spiced rum

*DREAMSICLE* boil 1 1/3 cup water & 2/3 cup OJ, add orange jello, 1 cup vanilla vodka 1/2 cup raspberry or berry vodka, Key Lime Cream Liqueur

*LIME IN THE COCONUT* boil 1 cup water, add watermelon jello, 1 cup Coconut Rum

*PURPLE PEOPLE EATER* boil 1 cup water, add grape jello, 1/2 cup vodka, 1/2 cup watermelon pucker

*BAHAMA MAMA* boil 1 cup water, add watermelon jello, 1/2 cup Malibu rum, 1/2 cup peach schnapps

*COSMOPOLITAN* boil 1 cup water with a splash of lime juice, add cranberry jello, 1/2 cup vodka, 1/2 cup triple sec

*BLUE FIRECRACKER* boil 1 cup water, add berry blue jello, 1/2 cup vodka, 1/2 cup peach schnapps

*WHITE LIGHTNING* boil 1 cup water, add pina colada jello, 1/2 cup vodka, 1/2 cup triple sec

*FUZZY NAVEL* boil 1 cup water, add 3oz orange jello, 2oz vodka, 6oz peach schnapps

*RED HEADED SLUT* boil 1 cup water, add cranberry jello, 1/2 cup peach schnapps, 1/2 cup jager

*MOJITO* 1 cup boiling water, 3oz box lime jello, 6oz white rum, 2 oz cold water. Top with mint leaves

*STRAWBERRY DAQUIRI* boil 1 cup water, add 3 oz package wild strawberry jello, 6oz white rum, 1oz sour or margarita mix

*ANKLE BREAKER* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 envelope of Lime Jello (3oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add 1/2 cup of cold water, 1/4 cup of 151 Rum, and 1/4 cup of Cherry Brandy

*RAIN MAIN* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 box of Orange Jello (3 oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add 1/4 cup of cold water, 1/2 cup of 151 rum, and 1/4 cup of Melon Liqueur

*ALABAMA SLAMMER* 3/4 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 package of Lemon Jello (3oz) and stir until everything is completely dissolved and then add 1/3 cup of cold water. Next, add 1/3 cup of Amaretto, 1/4 cup of Southern Comfort, and 1/3 cup of Sloe Gin

*ALL NIGHTER* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 box of Cherry Jello (3oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add 1/2 cup of cold water and 1/2 cup of Watermelon Vodka. Stir well & pour into jello shot cups

*APPLE PIE* 1 1/2 cups of boiling water. Dissolve 2 boxes of Lemon Jello (3oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add 1 cup of cold water, 1/2 cup of Light Rum, 1/2 cup of Sweet Vermouth, 1/4 cup of Apple Brandy and 1/4 cup of Grenadine. Stir well & pour

*BANANA BOAT* 1 cup of water. Dissolve 1 box of Pineapple Jello (3 oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add 1/2 cup of cold water, 1/4 cup of Coconut Rum, and 1/4 cup of Banana Liqueur

*BANANA SPLIT* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 box of Strawberry Jello (3oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add 1/4 cup of cold water, 1/4 cup of Vodka, and 1/4 cup of Banana Liqueur and 1/4 cup of Creme de Cacao

*BAT OUT OF HELL* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 package of Orange Jello (3 oz) and stir for at least 2 minutes until fully dissolved. Add 1/2 cup of Red Bull, 1/4 cup of Rumand 1/4 Blue Curacao

*BERMUDA TRIANGLE* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 box of Orange Jello (3 oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add 1/2 cup of cold water, 1/4 cup of Spiced Rum and 1/4 cup of Peach Schnapps

*BLACK WIDOW* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 package of Grape Jello (3 oz) and stir until fully dissolved. Add 1/4 cup of cold water, 3/4 cup of Blackberry Vodka and 1/8 teaspoon of Ginger Powder. Stir well and cool slightly before pouring into jello shot cups. For a cool garnish, drop a single blackberry in each cup before chilling

*CRYPTINI* 1 cup of Hot coffee. Dissolve 1 envelope of Knox Gelatin and stir until fully dissolved. Add 1/3 cup of Iced Coffee, 1/3 cup of Vodka, and 1/3 cup of Kahlua

*FRENCH TICKLER* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 package of Orange Jello (3 oz) and stir until fully dissolved. Add 1/4 cup of cold water, 1/4 cup of Cinnamon Schnapps and 1/2 cup of Vodka

*JUICY FRUIT* 3/4 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 box of Pineapple Jello (3 oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add 1/4 cup of cold water, 1/3 cup of Vodka, and 1/3 cup of Melon Liqueur and 1/3 cup of Peach Schnapps

*JAGER MASTER* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 box of Orange Jello (3 oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add 1/2 cup of cold water, 1/4 cup of Jagermeister, and 1/4 cup of Amaretto, and a splash of Grenadine

*JAGER MONSTER* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 package of Orange Jello and stir until fully dissolved. Add 1/4 cup of cold water, 1/2 cup of Jagermeister, and 1/4 cup of Grenadine

*LONG ISLAND ICED TEA* and measure 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 2 packages of Lemon Jello (3oz) and stir until fully dissolved. Add 1/2 cup of Cola and 1/2 cup of cold water. Now get ready to add the alcohol - 1/2 cup of Gin, 1/2 cup of Light Rum, 1/2 cup of Vodka and 1/2 cup of Tequila

*NINJA TURTLE* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 box of Orange Jello and stir until fully dissolved. Add 1/2 cup of cold water, 1/4 cup of Gin, and 1/4 cup of Blue Curacao

*PAIN KILLERS* 3/4 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 box of Pineapple Jello (3oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add 1/4 cup of cold water, 1/3 cup of Dark Rum, 1/3 cup of Coconut Rum and 1/3 cup of Orange Liqueur

*PIXIE STIX* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 box of Lemon Jello (3oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add 1/2 cup of cold water, 1/4 cup of Southern Comfort, and 1/4 cup of Blackberry Brandy

*RED SILK PANTIES* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 box of Cranberry Jello (3 oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add 1/2 cup of cold water, 1/4 cup of Vodka, and 1/4 cup of Peach Schnapps

*BROKEN HEART* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 package of Orange Jello (3oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add 1/2 cup of cold water, 1/4 cup of Vodka, and 1/4 cup of Chambord

*SCOOBY SNACKS* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 box of Pineapple Jello (3 oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add 1/2 cup of cold water, 1/4 cup of Melon Liqueur, and 1/4 cup of Coconut Rum

*TIJUANA TAXI* 2 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 2 packages of Lemon Jello (3 oz size) and stir at least 2 minutes until fully dissolved. Next, add 1 cup of cold water, 1/2 cup of Tequila, 1/4 cup of Blue Caracao and 1/4 cup of Tropical Fruit Schnapps
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drink up people...

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Port Broughtan

 Calm clear waters protected from the sea by a sandy peninsula..









    7:30am looking straight into the rising sun, I was a bit surprised this photo came out at all albeit with a bit of Halo and that refraction in the lower corner showing the high quality of the Leica lens.



    Got to love those holiday colours..


    Hand held at night capturing the last rays of the setting sun.














    DAMN...jumped too hard





Ive been away on holiday to the lovely seaside town of Port Broughtan in South Australia, I fully intended to post from there but the internet coverage was slow at best and once all the kids were up with their internet equipped smart phones turned on the internet was a joke. (Thanks TELSTRA)

..now I'm having trouble getting back up to normal speed. (Yawn!)

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Thursday, December 5, 2013






T'is the season to be jolly, ...Oh stuff it!
I dont feel very Christmasy yet this year.....






This isnt some twit falling off the roof, this is the actual decorations.
It's only the beginning of something bizarre, you know how Americans take a boring idea and turn it into something way over the top...





Meanwhile in Queensland....








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