Jokes

On a recent business  trip I needed to stay overnight, I chose a local Motel by chance as I drove into town.  When I checked in I said to the receptionist "I hope the porn channel is disabled"

"No" she said "It's regular porn you sick bastard!"

 A True Story

Who do you think was more scared? The Australian family camping in Kakadu National Park who woke up when a three metre crocodile tried climbing up on their tent, or the crocodile, when the family started screaming.
The poor croc turned straight around and raced back towards the water, unfortunately overlooking the tree in its way.
The tree lost a fair bit of bark and there were two big wet circles where the croc's nose had slammed into the tree...

Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog shit off your shoe.

 

 


I pointed to two old drunks across the bar from us and said to my mate,

“That’s us in ten years.”

He said, “That’s a mirror.”

 

A LYSOL commercial just told me to disinfect the thing I touch the most.....uh oh, I think this is gonna burn!!! ;)