Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Love in a modern world

Love in a modern world
In this age of e-mailing, texting, mobiles and picture messaging, it’s easy to overlook one of the oldest and finest ways to a woman’s heart: The love letter. Oh, sure there’s something special about a picture message staring your favorite body part, but can you be sure she wont send it on to all her friends…or perhaps mum or little sisters got the phone at the time? So maybe you should stick with ‘safe’…and safe is the love letter.
Most men are afraid to even attempt one of these, but it’s really not that difficult.
Write about anything that matters to you:
The weather; interest rates; the colour of rain; the size of your hamsters testicles… anything that matters to you...cause you want her to know the real you…right? Shmuck!

Lets face it, the last thing you want her to know is the real you. Do like every other man does and lie your ass off. It doesn’t matter what you write, as long as it sounds sincere and includes the three essential ingredients:
Your name.
A short description of how she makes you feel.
The three words that can change the world: I love you.

Women do like to feel appreciated, and a timely gift or two can make all the difference in how she feels about you.
She, in turn, may reward you with tokens of affection too. Hopefully this will not be socks…
It’s important to keep a sense of proportion here. Don’t get carried away. You really cannot buy a woman’s affections, and there’s always the chance you’ll bankrupt yourself, while she moves to the coast and opens a gift shop.
Flowers, chocolate and gold are always acceptable, but you cant beat a special little something you made yourself. That personal touch means so much more than the gift itself, and she will love that you made the effort… Think twice about sculptures made of motorcycle parts and candles made out of earwax...

Preserve the magic
Just because you’ve known her for two weeks, there’s no need to lose that initial special something.
Do the unexpected, surprise her with wild, crazy demonstrations of your enthusiasm for her.
Jump out of a perfectly good airplane.
Jump out of a cake.
Jump out of your skin if you think it will have the desired effect, but keep her guessing.
No woman will appreciate complacency and even if you make a complete tit out of yourself, you’ll still be notching up brownie points.
Effort is everything.
Be spontaneous.
Make mad, passionate love to her over the table, and ignore what the waiter says.



mapstew said...

And they say romance is dead? :¬)

Princess L said...

Wow, a man wih a sense of humor who understands us? I'm surprised you don't have a harem, Tempo...

Pearl said...

And the sexiest thing you can do?

Make her laugh.


Thanks for the laugh, Hot Stuff!


Jen said...

Bonus points if you add music and call it a song.

Tempo said...

Hi Map, Romance isnt dead...just resting.

Hi ya Princess L, Haven't seen you about for a while. Sense of humour..yes! Understands women..No! But it's fun trying...

Ah Pearl, words of wisdom indeed! There's nothing more sexy than a good sense of humour and the ability to use it. I have wit..but thats only half of what I need, I guess that makes me a half wit.

Hi Jen, What? nothing about being able to actually sing and play an instrument? (I cant do either) Bought a nice guitar to learn to play...apparently buying a 'good' guitar makes no difference if you've got no talent whatsoever. My father was musically talented as is one of my girls...who knew talent could skip a generation.

Elyssa said...

The reverse works too.

And if you are bored of her...

Try being unappreciative, ignoring her or push her out of that airplane...

Tempo said...

Hi Lyss, There's a thousand ways to stuff a relationship...but only a few ways to make it work. I'm flat out finding all the ways to stuff it. After that..I'll see if I've got time to find all the ways to make it work..