Sunday, September 12, 2010

It could have happened to anyone…Right?!

We’ve had a lot of rain recently...heaps!
Not rain like the rest of the world knows rain… but around 40mm (1 1/2in) in a week. That’s a lot for southern Australia, and because the land is pretty much flat, we actually got some flooding.
Flooding here is not like flooding in the rest of the world either… Flooding here is a wide expanse of water over roads etc, sometimes a foot deep. A whole foot! (you can stop laughing now)

Going back a few weeks, a friend had borrowed my trailer to pick up some horse poo for his garden and to pay me back he kindly returned the trailer full of said horse poo. I barrowed most of it around to the back garden but left a couple of wheelbarrows full to tuck neatly under the shrubs in my neatly graveled front yard. (we don’t have grass here, it’s too dry) Then the rains came….
Hands up all those who knew that horse poo floats?………..
OK smarties...well I didn’t!
With my front yard under almost an inch of water the horse poo spread out to cover most of the yard. After a few hours the water receded gently leaving it spread perfectly across the yard.
So it was that I found myself with garden rake in hand in the light drizzle raking the poo back where it belonged...under the shrubs. You can imagine how wet my runners got from this adventure. . and the smell? Don’t even ask!
I rinsed them clean and knowing that I needed them the next day I put them in the oven and turned it on just a tiny little bit.
A few hours later when I checked, they were still cold and wet, so I turned the oven up, just a tiny little bit… unbelievably; they were still cold when I checked them later. I turned up the oven just a tiny little bit.
One thing led to another, things happened (no ones fault) ..and I went to bed having completely forgotten the shoes in the oven.
Early next morning when I went into the kitchen I instantly noticed a warm musty smell, my eyes were drawn to the oven…the light was on. I opened the oven to find my runners dripping between the shelves, a mixture of melted plastic and scorched leather…
I didn’t tell my girls about this cause I think they’re planning to put me in an old farts home at the first opportunity, instead I put on another pair and went shopping…no one need ever know.. Shhh!

Speaking of my girls.
My oldest daughter (D1) had borrowed yet another mobile phone and stopped in at one of the others girls houses to get her slow cooker back. (crock pot)
D1 and D3 have had perhaps 25 phones between them in a couple of years.
She shopped on the way home and had to do the usual juggling act to get it all into the house in one trip. (as you do)
Once in the house she quickly plugged the slow cooker in to warm up while she peeled and cut vegetables, poured in stock and diced meat for the evening meal.
She had to rush a bit because slow cookers are …well, kind of slow!
With the evening meal in and cooking she tidied up the kitchen and decided to make a call. It was about here that she realized she hadn’t seen her mobile for some time.
She searched the scrap bin, the empty shopping bags, her bottomless handbag (whats with women and their bags anyway?)
Eventually she found her way outside to check the most obvious place of all, the car.
Nope, not there either!
Tracing her steps in her head she remembered having the phone in the shop…in the car.. in her hand as she struggled to load everything for the trip to the kitchen…
..a dark thought crossed her mind and so she went to check.
Scooping around in the now half cooked evening meal she found a slightly charred, slightly twisted phone in the bottom, right where she’d put it as she scrambled about in her bag for the front door keys.

We still give her shit about her ‘Nokia soup’
I’ve got an excuse because I’m old..but D1 at just 27…..



Adorabibble said...

you are to funny.
I love what you have done with your blog!
happy trails!

Pearl said...

Let me know next time you guys are cooking -- I'll bring dessert.


p.s. I had no idea horse manure floated, either...

Tempo said...

Hiya Shan,
I had to update the blog eventually Shan, Happy to see you back from holiday and (hopefully) ready to give us an update.

Hi Pearl, You might be better off not turning up when we cook... although we do a pretty good BBQ, Aussie style. I should have known it would float...horses float! :-)

Anonymous said...

Took me time to read the whole article, the article is great but the comments bring more brainstorm ideas, thanks.

- Johnson

mapstew said...

Shit happens! As they say!! :¬)

Tempo said...

Like most blogs the comments add a whole new dimension to whats said. I often spend as much time reading other commentors as I do reading the blog itself.
Hi Map, Yep, it's been said before but it's worth saying again. Shit happens.

Jen said...

A foot of water is enough to float your vehicle. You only laugh until it's your car...

Tempo said...

Just got back from a few days in the bush. Came around a corner to find the road flooded...twice. Yep! not funny when you nearly end up in the drink.