Odds and Ends

Just cleaning out my files and found a few unrelated funnies that need sharing before deleting.

I once knew a woman whose virginity grew back….
..or so she claimed. (who am I to have doubts) Actually this one is true...

I discovered that even though I wash my hands when I’ve been to the toilet…
It’s a good idea to wash your hands beforehand as well when you've been chopping Chilies. Actually, so is this one...

Definition of car insurance: It’s a betting payment. I’m betting that I’m going to crash my car in the next twelve months. They’re betting that I’m not… and I’m hoping they win!

The three rings of marriage
The engagement ring
The wedding ring
The Suffering

The feeling you get when you find one chip in the box when you thought you had none, is not the same feeling you get when you think you have one left, but find none.

Let me know if i say anything that offends you ... I might want to offend you again later!!!

One of my nipples is a different colour to the other two. Is this normal?

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

You know you're too drunk to drive when you swerve to miss a tree, and then realize it was just your air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror.


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