Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Jokes


An Aussie walks into his doctors office, he has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.
The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly".




My 85 year old uncle had to visit the doctor and was asked to provide a sperm sample. The doctor described the procedure, gave him a sample jar and asked him to return a fresh sample in the morning.
The next morning uncle returns to the doctor with an empty jar.
"What happened?" asked his doctor.
"Well," starts the old man, "I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then she tried with her left hand- nothing. Then she tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then her teeth out, still nothing. We even called the lady next door for help but try as she might….." The doctor interrupted at this point, "You mean to say you asked your neighbour for assistance?"
"Yep, but no matter what we tried we couldn’t get that damn jar open."

11 comments:

River said...

Oh Dear God!
I choked on my water at the second one.

Windsmoke. said...

The last one gets my vote.

Tempo said...

Hi River, were you expecting me to put up a dirty joke? Tut tut! LOL I dont wish you any harm of course but a good laugh is good for you.
Hi Windsmoke, I laughed so hard when I first heard that joke, it's stayed with me ever since. So glad you liked it...feel free to copy and paste, good jokes should be shared.

Elyssa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mymandorla said...

Ha ha ha - very funny jokes!

Twisted Scottish Bastard said...

HAHA

Tempo said...

Hi Spiral, good to see you dropping by still, I hope youre being kind to yourself.
Ah TSB, Feel free to copy and paste that last joke into your next newsletter home mate...sure to make you very popular

Twisted Scottish Bastard said...

HAHA

Twisted Scottish Bastard said...

Sorry,
HA bloody HA

Joe Pereira said...

haha lovely stuff :)

Tempo said...

Hi TSB, that should have been School Newsletter...
Hi Joe, Finally got time off from being a party animal in paradise I see. Glad you liked them.