An old work mate of mine who catches up
from time to time dropped by with a question in mind.
“Mate, do you still have that Ghillie
suit?”
Well, actually I do…and the several metres
of camo cloth I used to wrap the rifle when hunting many, many years ago. (for
some reason the market for secondhand Ghillie Suits is still rather flat)
It emerged that for reasons un-discussed he
needed a full camo suit for him and one other person.
Now some of you might be tempted to ask why
he wanted the camo but I have learned from painful and bitter experiences that
it is most often better Not to ask such questions… I prefer to make up my own lies rather than
listen to other peoples lies. He needed it to uh…oh…Oh hell, why would anyone
need camo?
* Typical Ghillie suit normally used for Hunting and Photography
…anyway, as his over detailed and
convoluted lie wound it’s way inevitably toward justification for needing such
a suit my mind began to wander…. Hmm!
By the time he’d explained his need for the
suit I’d hatched a plan myself…
Oh, he needed the suit alright but I convinced him he
needed much more, the whole camo set..
He needed the camo body paint as well…but
it was all good, I still had a bit he could have. We arranged a few days for me
to get it all together before he dropped by to pick it up.
A rummage through the kids Busy Box* and
I’d found the left overs from a kids Face Painting Set. There was no Black but
Yellow was nearly gone so I cleaned out the plastic jar and went to the shed.
In the cupboard where I keep thinners, auto
paints and polishes there are also a few car beautification products. One of
those is Kitten Tire Black Paint. Water based just like kids paints but this
flexible paint is tenacious. It never comes out of cloths and the spilled spots
seem to take nearly a week to wear off of my hands.
By the time the Ghillie suit was picked up
it came with a set of different coloured body paints, a new brush and
instructions to completely brush the very conspicuous face, neck and hands area
with a good coat or two of the Black.
I didn't hear anything for several weeks
but eventually the call came, I can remember it almost word for word but if I
wrote it minus the swear words there wouldn’t be anything left for you to read.
I told him they had no choice but to let it
wear off, and wear off it did.
With several washes a day they had
convincingly Black faces for a week and bits here and there for nearly three
weeks. They’d had to go to work like that and one of the two had gone to a
parent/teacher interview.
They got me back of course, but that’s
another story.
*Scraps of paper, lace and any craft
materials that may be needed… one day
*Spot me if you can...
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