Friday, May 17, 2013

Call me Ghillie.






An old work mate of mine who catches up from time to time dropped by with a question in mind.
“Mate, do you still have that Ghillie suit?”

Well, actually I do…and the several metres of camo cloth I used to wrap the rifle when hunting many, many years ago. (for some reason the market for secondhand Ghillie Suits is still rather flat)
It emerged that for reasons un-discussed he needed a full camo suit for him and one other person.
Now some of you might be tempted to ask why he wanted the camo but I have learned from painful and bitter experiences that it is most often better Not to ask such questions…   I prefer to make up my own lies rather than listen to other peoples lies. He needed it to uh…oh…Oh hell, why would anyone need camo?

* Typical Ghillie suit normally used for Hunting and Photography
…anyway, as his over detailed and convoluted lie wound it’s way inevitably toward justification for needing such a suit my mind began to wander…. Hmm!

By the time he’d explained his need for the suit I’d hatched a plan myself…
Oh, he  needed the suit alright but I convinced him he needed much more, the whole camo set..
He needed the camo body paint as well…but it was all good, I still had a bit he could have. We arranged a few days for me to get it all together before he dropped by to pick it up.
A rummage through the kids Busy Box* and I’d found the left overs from a kids Face Painting Set. There was no Black but Yellow was nearly gone so I cleaned out the plastic jar and went to the shed.
In the cupboard where I keep thinners, auto paints and polishes there are also a few car beautification products. One of those is Kitten Tire Black Paint. Water based just like kids paints but this flexible paint is tenacious. It never comes out of cloths and the spilled spots seem to take nearly a week to wear off of my hands.
By the time the Ghillie suit was picked up it came with a set of different coloured body paints, a new brush and instructions to completely brush the very conspicuous face, neck and hands area with a good coat or two of the Black.

I didn't hear anything for several weeks but eventually the call came, I can remember it almost word for word but if I wrote it minus the swear words there wouldn’t be anything left for you to read.
I told him they had no choice but to let it wear off, and wear off it did.
With several washes a day they had convincingly Black faces for a week and bits here and there for nearly three weeks. They’d had to go to work like that and one of the two had gone to a parent/teacher interview.

They got me back of course, but that’s another story. 

*Scraps of paper, lace and any craft materials that may be needed… one day




*Spot me if you can...



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8 comments:

Joe Pereira said...

Great trick ! Shame you don't have photos of the victims :)

Belle said...

That is so funny! At least he came back from whatever it was he was doing.

Kymbo Whitford said...

Hi Joe, The victims were making sure no one got photos of them, apparently their workmates spent the best part of the first week trying though..
Hi Belle, To this day I have no idea what there were up to but curiosity had me watching the local media for clues...but nothing.
Oh, that was a lie.. the suit had some beach sand in among the netting.

mapstew said...

I feckin' love it! :)

Kymbo Whitford said...

Thanks Map, you'd be a man after my own heart, though it wasn't to good what they did to get me back...

River said...

You're a wicked, wicked man. And I can't spot you at all in that photo.

Jen said...

I'm never borrowing anything from you.

I didn't recognize you! I'm used to seeing comments from Tempo.

Kymbo Whitford said...

Hi River, Yes it was a bit naughty but what they did in return more than paid me back. Im there on the Right in the shade of that tree about half way up the bank but you cant see anything of me there.
Hi Jen, Im appearing as all sorts of names from all over the place and I cant do anything to make them all the same even. Linking Google with Blogger has also linked it with pretty much every page and site Ive ever had and theyre all mixed up.