Monday, November 23, 2009





A friend of a friend had been cheating on her boyfriend for some time, she told him she no longer loved him, put on her makeup and headed out to a club to meet up with her lover. Bad enough to behave like that…even worse when there’s a child involved. Her mother went to the club and dragged her daughter out and made her go home to sort things out properly. This event became a round table discussion with my daughters with interesting insights…my daughters are now grown women, with ideas and opinions all their own. Thankfully they are quite level headed and tend to see beyond the superficial. (or so they would have me believe) LOL
The point was made that this woman was in fact probably just bored, not out of love with her man, nor in love with the new guy…just bored with her lot, and she somehow figured she had the right to drag everyone through this crap just so she could jazz up her life for a while.
For thousands of years at least, womankind has settled for who they were told to marry, or whoever was able to pay the required dowry. Love, they were assured, came later.
For most it seemed to work well enough (in terms of child rearing) but for the last hundred years or so the all conquering primal reason to marry a particular person has been ‘LOVE’…so what is love anyway?
Is it not just that urge to breed with a particular person?...and are we that different to dogs, cats or other primates. Whether driven by physical attraction, hormones, pheromones, loneliness or some other unfathomable reason. We all find some people attractive beyond measure, deep eyes, a warm smile, the curve of a neck or the more base reasons like big boobs or ‘come get me’ behaviour. These are usually pretty poor reasons to choose a life partner though, usually ending in marital disaster. It seems ‘love’ does not always last…and each person seems to have a differing opinion of what love really is anyway. Around 50% of modern marriages fail...but that does not take into account the relationships that don’t make it to marriage before seems we aren’t very good at choosing life partners.
There are arguments to be made about women’s rights, assaults within marriage, freedom to choose and lots more besides and I really don’t want to go there because if I did, this would be a book, not a blog! I think we can just accept that over time men have made the rules to suit themselves and it’s well beyond time that it changed…and it has, or is changing for the better!...isn’t it?
So, do you choose a partner based on love and sex...or do you choose a partner based on respect, intelligence, civility, warm-heartedness or some other real and apparently fathomable reason? …Does it really matter anyway, or is it just a matter of different strokes.
Where do I stand on all this?...I’m a male so I got nuthin!

Actually, when I think about it..I think I’ve just fallen into relationships without really considering much of anything…maybe it’s time to actually have a plan!

Anyone got a spare plan I could use?

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