Thursday, November 15, 2012

Tulka Fires 2012



After many decades without fire the Tulka area near Port Lincoln was dry and had a lot of built up undergrowth. In 2005 a fire broke out sweeping across 145,000 Hectares, it killed 9 people and injured 113. A total of 93 homes were lost along with 50 other buildings, 100 vehicles and 30,000 livestock. Huge areas were evacuated and no one will forget the pictures of people standing in the sea to escape the flames that drove them there as they watched everything they owned destroyed.
Our state was in shock for months and the result was a heavy upgrade of fire fighting equipment, contingency plans, escape routes and fire fighting water supplies.




Just a week ago it happened again…
It started close to the previous fire and followed a similar pattern, burning in inaccessible areas until it built up then sweeping across the roads to attack the built up areas.
This time though, with more money expended and our firefighters ready for the fight the statistics are far more reasonable. (unless you owned one of the houses lost)
Farmers had time to cut their fences to release stock, homes were abandoned early and firefighters manned (and womanned) every possible firefighting vehicle… the entire state held our collective breaths.























This time we lost 9 homes, 11 sheds and just 850 Hectares of land.
With the reduction in losses we were able to concentrate on the wildlife like never before.
Kangaroos simply hop over fences and get away, Wombats dig their burrows deeper and survive in the cool earth but Koalas cant run or hide and generally die a miserable death.
The last fire destroyed countless Koalas over a huge area, a rare and special sub species was lost forever. Thankfully there were areas with far too many Koalas so they were simply moved into the fire damaged areas as regrowth appeared to support them.
This fire killed many of the imported animals and so with the state already prepared for an onslaught of injured humans they swung into action to save as many of the injured animals as they could. 
 
 

























*This little Kangaroo has burned feet and lost his mother in the fire, he's being cared for in the home of a wildlife warrior and will be released when possible.














*Heroes...

























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Sunday, November 11, 2012

Things real men dont say...

1. I think Barry Manilow is one cool dude.
2. No, I don’t want another beer. I have to work tomorrow.
3. Her boobs are just too big.
4. Sometimes I just want to be held.


5. Sure, I’d love to wear a condom.
6. I have not been to the mall for ages, let’s go shopping and I can hold your purse.
7. Screw Monday night football; let’s watch dancing with the stars.
8. It’s late. Put your clothes back on and I’ll take you home.
9. Honey, I’m going to the store, do you need some tampons?
10. I know you just blew me, but I need a kiss.
11. I’m sick of beer; give me a large fruit juice with a lemon twist.


12. Great, your Mother is coming to stay with us again.
13. This movie has way too much nudity.
14. I better get rid of these old Playboy magazines. I don’t look at them anymore.
15. Damn, we’re late for church!
16. No, I don’t want to see your sister’s boobs.
17. Put your bra and panties on for Christ’s sake.
18. I wonder if my gorgeous neighbor Tammy knows that her bathroom drapes are open. Maybe I should tell her.
19. No way, you weeded the garden and washed the car last week, it’s my turn now.
20. I understand.







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Monday, November 5, 2012

Unstickable



Fewer than half the roads in Australia are paved, way fewer than half.
Most are simply graded dirt, some with a thin layer of crushed rock rollered down on the bare earth, it's not because we're too laid back and don’t care…OK, so it is because we're too laid back and don’t care!
Either way, Australia is the natural stomping ground of the 4WD off road vehicle, not those plastic pretend 4WD's from the suburbs, the real ones. (lets not get into what makes a REAL 4WD)


* Cant miss it mate, it's the brown Toyota.


Over the years I've seen many pretend 4WDs stuck where I could get my 2WD through, in fact if we go back 30 years when cheap 4WDs were non existent, I drove my 2WD Ford back and forth across the country, up mountains and through creeks that are considered 4WD only these days. I got it stuck a great many times and we winched, dug, pushed and pulled it through almost impossible terrain. All we had was a hand winch, shovel, axe and chains….and that most valuable asset, Youth!


 *My little Tojo NOT making the crossing.

 *watch the water hazard


I was reminded of this just recently when my son-in-law bought his first 4WD, within two weeks he'd decided he could drive it down onto one of our secluded beaches where it promptly sank to the floor pan. The call for help went out…
They shoveled all afternoon as they watched the tide coming in, eventually they gave the car up as lost and emptied everything out of it. Sitting exhausted on the beach watching the water encroach on his pride and joy they took the photo you will see here. Just then Uncle Mark drove up in his F100 Ford, hooked up and had the 4WD dragged back to the beach within seconds…lesson learned.



Here then is a celebration of getting the unstickable stuck..
 

*Oops!

*Even the Police occasionally stuff up.

*I've done this trick myself a few times

*Not to worry, the tide will go down in 6 hours and knowing Toyota's this one will probably  drive away under it's own steam.

*Son-in-laws Mitsubishi left for dead on Mininini beach. (try pronouncing that after a few beers)



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Friday, November 2, 2012

Who saw this coming?



Wow. Here I am writing about this. Who saw that coming?
Sooner or later everybody becomes something they never thought they'd be. A bloke with loans to pay and kids to raise. A clone of their own parent. A country music fan*. Life can be terrifyingly unpredictable that way.
How many times have you caught yourself saying something your mum or dad used to say to you?
‘When I was a kid….’
‘…if you do that one more time!’
‘..a wigwam for a gooses bridal’ (ok, so I never used that one)
‘…Because I said so!’
‘Just because!...’

I guess it’s not surprising that we remember well those things our parents say to us (scream at us) and I personally have had many of those sad moments when I hear myself channelling my mother.
So now I find myself looking at a bloke I never thought I’d become, I hardly recognise myself from that small quiet lad that had very different ideas of where life was taking him…I know it’s still me though! I can tell from the complaining!

So what weirdness did your parents scream, yell or say to you that left you as obviously twisted as you are?


* I am in no way a country music fan. (just saying)

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Shoe Tree





Before you come UP here to Australia for your holiday of a lifetime there are things you should know about Australia.
The animals of course, many and varied, weird and wonderful they are too, but lets talk about the population of humans, now we're really talking weird….
Australians can find a good laugh where it ought not be, I guess we've always had to or there'd be precious little laughing going on up here.
Among the best fun is poking fun at your betters.. (for lack of a better term)…(turns head to side and spits downward…sorry Max!)




I was resting against a tree one hot day watching a single ant struggle with it's burden of one large crumb. As I watched it toil over rough ground it simply tripped over it's own front foot and face planted into the dust, it let go it's crumb and circled menacingly for several seconds gnashing it's fangs before resuming it's crumby journey. It seemed angry, very angry.
I laughed until I had tears in my eyes. Who knew ants got angry? Who knew they could feel embarrassed? Who knew they could trip over? …all those legs and he still couldn’t get it right.





Where was I… Oh yeah,

  THE SHOE TREE.
S 34° 32.097 E 135° 40.226

Driving along a quiet country road between Port Lincoln and Cummins last weekend I came across a typically absurd Aussie joke. (South Australia)
As I pulled over to take a few photos and collect the nearby Geocache   (  http://www.geocaching.com/guide/  ) another car pulled up with two very old women in it. It turned out that one of the women had come to check that her shoes were still in good shape. She told me the story thus:



Some unknown local had at some unknown time and for some unknown reason tied two mens shoes together by the laces and thrown them over a high branch at the side of the road. (There are no houses, turns, intersections nor anything remarkable within many miles.)

That’s it.. end of story!
So.. someone else wrote their name and date on a pair of shoes and threw them over the branch.
So.. someone else wrote their name and date on a pair of shoes and threw them over the branch.
So.. someone else wrote their name and date on a pair of shoes and threw them over the branch…. you get the idea.. right?




Here we are many years later and this poor old tree is festooned with shoes, there are many on other branches, some right at the top and some in every corner of the tree.
There are none dropped on the ground, none old and gnarled and none full of spider webs, someone is doing the housework.
I'm told there in an Underwear tree somewhere in South Australia and I know of another covered in bits of cloth tied to every branch.

You may decide you want to ask 'Why?'…but that would be like yelling "The king has no clothes!" You don’t ask why, you just go along with the joke (whatever that was) or not..

To the Grammar Nazis: Yeah, I know…but what you going to do….



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