Saturday, June 5, 2010
Being A Bloke
There has never been a more difficult time to be a bloke.
These days you have to be pretty sharp to impress the ladies. Lets face it, between the computer and the turkey baster, there isn’t much left for us to do.
We’ve become accessories, chunky charms on the bracelets of independent women.
We should have realized our days were numbered when they bought out cute designer gizmos for taking the lids off jam jars…
There’s no doubt about it, nowadays if you want to make them yearn, you’ve got to earn it..
But it wasn’t always that way.
Once upon a time, back in the days when men were men and the sheep were scared, we had a certain authority, things were very different.. It was all so much simpler then.
A short walk over, a quick whack over the head, she has stars in her eyes for you alone, and it’s back to the cave for some Neolithic action on a mammoth skin rug.
Now that’s what I call clubbing….
I think it’s fair to say that men look back in awe of those times, and maybe it would be worth the cold cave, raw meat and fleas to recapture those times.
I blame Adam for this, it was easy enough wasn’t it? Have what you want, when you want and beautiful young Eve to share it all with… but don’t eat that one thing… Easy!
(what was he thinking?)
Hmm, this boy had to be given some encouragement, but in fairness, it was new territory for him.
After years of fiddling with his fig and worrying the animals, he was bound to need a few pointers.
Fortunately, Eve was a bit more clued up.
I’m sure she made a fine sight standing there in her naked loveliness, her pippins in her hands, a giant python wrapped around her lions.
One glimpse of her fruit and veg on display and Adam decided to turn over a new leaf.
For the first time in ages the animals felt safe bending over at the waterhole.
Sadly, it all ended in tears when the man upstairs got to hear about their frolickings.
..and so we end here and now where men change every few years to suit the new requirements.
Shaved chest or no shaved chest? “Haven’t you heard? …bulging muscles are out this year” …. I don’t go for that at all I must admit.
I’m just waiting it out until what I have comes back in style….