Sunday, July 17, 2011

City Rant

I did manage to find their offroad parking where looters couldn't steal from my car.

..and check out these cool contraptions for checking out whats going on under your car..wish we had these in the country.

Some of you will know that I live in a largish country city of around 30,000 people, in outback South Australia that makes for a pretty big city.
I had to leave paradise behind last week to travel to the state capital for a family party.
Many of you live in big cities all over the planet, but I’m quite sure that you’re nothing like the weirdos that inhabit the big cities here in OZ.

What is it with city people?
They step off the footpath right in front of you like a sick game of Russian Roulette. In rows they stand, teetering on that last heel and weaving back and forth as if they cant decide whether to career across or not. Then one will step out in front of you…or not. This tends to happen more in direct proportion to the vehicular crowding around you at the time.
Being a Monty Python fan I cant help but remember the skit for the ‘100metres running race for blind people with no sense of direction’, this pretty much sums it up for the average driver just trying to get from A to B without killing too many pedrians*.
(*bicycle or walking, covers everything from stagger, through amble and right up to jog)
What passes for fashion in the city would see you get beat up in some outback pubs I know.

..the drivers.. glad you asked! We have this thing out here, Dirt Circuit Racing! Picture THAT, on the streets!
If you leave that proper braking distance thing, two cars pull into the space you left, leaving you with nowhere to go…. And why are they all in such a fricking hurry?
I always tell myself that I’m not going to stoop to their new fangled city way of driving but within a short time my halo is around one ankle and I’m cutting in and diving across 4 lanes to the exit I want just like the rest of them..
As an aside: have you noticed that nearly every city car has at least one scrape on it?

Oh, and heres a tip. Don’t book Motel rooms over the internet.
It looked good in the pics! Rows of shiny cars in front of lush garden beds. Security cameras, offroad parking, on suite, fridges and air conditioners in every room, etc, etc. But the lush gardens are now dusty hollows with the odd dead branch here and there to suggest a previous life, the 60’s styling hasn’t been done up since the photos were taken, in the, er.. 1960’s! My air conditioner sounded like a jet going over every time it rattled/wheezed into life?! ..but my fridge made up for that by freezing everything solid even though it was turned off.
When I staggered in at 3am after the party… Pretty young women were coming and going by taxi at regular intervals with much older men. Hmm! Who’d have imagined that some city girls could be so friendly?

With all this going on, you’d be forgiven for thinking that I didn’t have a good time, but you’d be wrong. I had a fantastic time, caught up with some of my favorite people, met some great new people and went to a wonderful party.
Oh, the stories I could tell you about that party…if only I could remember.

My paternal aunt came along for the ride.. and to force me to listen only to the radio all the way there and back..(from a sound system I had upgraded especially so I could listen to my CD’s on this trip) but she had a really good time too. I know that because she only complained half the way home, highly successful in anyone’s terms!



Anonymous said...

Seen that top pic before, I thought that was a Tasmanian Car Wash...


Neo said...

Glad you enjoyed your trip... will have to look for the Monty Python skit you referenced, I do remember the one Race of the Twits...lmao

Anonymous said...

Hi Tempo,
Glad to hear that you did end up having a good time. Yes it certainly is rush, rush, rush in the city, time is very precious, I know this because I grew up a city girl and am still very much in the thick of it, I live 6km form the city heart. Unfortunately I think it's the same in any major city, some worse than others, but basically the same.

I love going to the countryside for the peace and quite, also to relax and get away from the crowds.

Windsmoke. said...

Glad you enjoyed your trip to the big smoke i must agree with you about the appaling attitude of people on the road and i'm sick and tired of it myself that's why i prefer to walk everywhere as much as i can. No way will i purchase anything online because there are to many skimmers, scammers and hackers just waiting to rip you off :-).

Tempo said...

@AV, Yeah, that wasn't really the motel pool, the water was much greener and you couldn't see the bottom.
@Neo, That skit was about the same timeframe as the twits race skit..
@Mags, I avoid the city where ever possible, but sometimes you just have to go there. It sure makes you appreciate the quietness of home.
Hi Windsmoke, You might as well forget you ever learned the rules of the one ever uses them

Mags118 said...

Hi Tempo,
I just went onto my blog, which I haven't been to for a couple of days, and noticed you left a comment, I'm terribly sorry, I was not notified at all and didn't know it was there. This is a lesson for me to at least check the blog and not rely on getting an e-mail if someone has commented.
Again I apologize.

Sarah said...

My favorite part about city drivers are the ones who aren't ready for driving downtown. My building is on the corner of a one-way and it's very entertaining to see all the drivers turn & go down the one-way the wrong way.

mapstew said...

That's why I quit my job as a long distance courier. I used to love driving, I used to find it relaxing. (I passed my driving test 32 years ago, and passed my truckers test some years later.) Now it just frustrates me. Bastards!

I need to do me some bush drivin'. Watch out! :¬)

Kal said...

HA HA...I love these stories about Huckleberries in the big city. They always end the same way with gunshots and apologies.

Tempo said...

@Mags, No problem Mags, you are one of the very few that answers every's all good!
@Sarah,It's a bit like that here, many streets have been changed from two way to one way to ease traffic congestion and entertain the locals..
@Mapstew, I still love driving after 35 years behind the wheel, I especially like highway driving and driving in the rain...but you can keep city driving, full of loonies!
Hi Kal, This one ended with me crawling into a taxi at three in the morning, no gunshots this time..

Spiral said...

I find that the smaller the town, the more likely a pedestrian will cross the road painstakingly slowly in front of an oncoming vehicle.

I don't like driving in larger cities. Sydney is a nightmare and I grew up there.

Tempo said...

..or simply back out on you as you drive by.. Much as I like poking fun at city folk, we have some complete nutters out here too. You should go for a ride with one of my daughters.. in fact two of them are scary behind the wheel.