Thursday, January 26, 2012

Rules for Good Housekeeping (Especially for men!)

It's Australia day today, time for BBQ's and picnics outdoors usually accompanied by beer. No beer for me just yet, I'm taking the Yamaha out for a spin and don't want to fall off...again!
If you're in the mood for some great jokes I recommend a visit to Mags blog over at wordpress

So anyway, I found this list on a feminist site a little while ago while searching for a counter post for the one I put up a couple of posts ago. As a single bloke I can relate to most of these and confess theres more than a grain of truth in some of them. Enjoy!
  • It is time to clean out the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
  • Keep it clean enough for healthy, dirty enough for happy.
  • Never make fried chicken in the nude.
  • Do not engage in unarmed combat with a dust bunny big enough to choke the vacuum cleaner.
  • You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
  • If guys were suppose to hang clothes up, door knobs would be bigger.
  • My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
  • Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
  • Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere.
  • When writing your name in the dust on the table, omit the date.


malcfifty said...

Hi Tempo, These were pretty much the rules of the house when three single guys shared a house, before I got married. I threw a shirt over a lamp for ambience, but had to remove it when I noticed the smell of smouldering fabric.

Belle said...

Love the fridge jokes. I wait waaay too long to clean the fridge. Great list.

Magsx2 said...

Hi Tempo,
Happy Australia Day. :)

Great list, they were all good, but I especially like:
"If guys were suppose to hang clothes up, door knobs would be bigger."

Thank You very much for the mention in your blog.

Joe Pereira said...

My favourite is the first one! Almost happened to me once, back in the days - just as well the bacteria don't have hands.

Happy Australia Day Tempo - have a tinnie or two for me :)

Jenn June said...

Hilarious! I love the fridge ones and the cobwebs creating a romantic atmosphere.

Windsmoke. said...

Being a happy single i can relate to 'em all i especially like the first one about the freaky fridge monster and the door knobs :-).

Tempo said...

Hi Malcfifty, Yep these are the rules pretty much every single bloke lives by. I've done the cloth over the lamp thing to..right up until it starts smoking, must be a male thing eh?!

Hi Belle, Most of us have pretty full lives and the humble fridge sitting there humming away just seems to slide down the list a few notches.

Hey Mags, actually theres some good ideas on this could make a million selling oversize door handles for men. What to get the man who has everything?...a door handle to hang it on..
You put up some awesome jokes, everyone should get to read them.

Hi Joe, I've shared flats at various times so I've seen live evolving from scratch, sure seen some interesting cultures.

Hi Jenn June, Beauty is in the eye of the beholder I guess, so cobwebs in the right spot could be romantic...if you're drunk enough!

Hey Windsmoke, Freaky fridge monsters and door handles with enough on them to pull the door off are a way of life for us bachelors eh..

Sarah said...

These pretty much embody my procrastinator's attitude towards housework.

Tempo said...

I'm hearing you loud and clear Sarah, I have to admit to being a bit slack around the house. (not as bad as this list suggests though)

Sandra said...

I saw on Facebook there was such a thing as Australia Day! As a Canadian, we are over interested in Australia and all long to move there. Be grateful we can't afford it and don't...we're a messy lot. Have you seen the homeless we leave strewn all over our city streets.
As for the list, I have to shout out a great big AMEN to the "Never make friend chicken in the nude."

Munir said...

I like the second rule.
About the cobwebs be careful, you can be allergic to it.
I sometimes hang clothes on the door knobs as I try to save on electricity.
I don't think any one is as heavy as a refrigerator.
I am sure you keep a pretty clean house though your list is very funny.

Tempo said...

Hi Sandra, It's funny that Aussies have a thing about Canada as well (I love that cool accent) Out where I live we dont have homeless people, they tend to get a hard time from the rest of society because we have universal housing and theres no need to be homeless unless you want to be. We could do with more Canadians here and less of a few other races. (names withheld because racism is illegal in Australia) :-)

Hi Munir, and welcome. A few posts back I put up a very misogynistic piece of rubbish which my readers took very well.. in the interests of fair play I'm posting a few that have a go at men and their funny habits. I'm glad you liked this one.

River said...

I agree with points #2;3;8 and 10. The rest of them had my brain spinning.

Tempo said...

Hi River...only those few had your brain spinning?