Sunday, April 11, 2010


If you ever feel like self combusting out of sheer frustration while trying to work out how women feel about us? Bear in mind that they have to deal on a daily basis with all us card carrying members of the Todger Club.
No wonder they get split ends.

Here then is a chance to put ourselves in their shoes.
(have you noticed how their shoes give great definition to the calves, although I find the toes pinch a bit. I do think they need to make them a bit stronger though, there’s nothing more embarrassing than losing a heel halfway through doing the actions for YMCA)

So here for the women in our lives…

Ive never fallen in love, but Ive stepped in it a few times..

I prefer a man who wears his heart on his sleeve, instead of the contents of his nose..

If they can send a man to the moon, why cant they send them all?

He said his body was a temple…so I gave him a donation to the restoration fund..

When I ask a man to give me a ring, I’m talking diamonds..

Strange how pigs don’t turn into men when they’ve had a drink..

Men are like Swiss Army Knives. You think they’d be handy, but you only ever use the one attachment..

Men are like public toilets. Vacant, Engaged or full of crap..

Men are only good for two things, but you have to let them sleep eight hours in between..

How come you start off sinking into a man’s arms, and end up with your arms in his sink?

How many men does it take to clean a toilet? As if!

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough..

How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes..

What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
Any place without a drive-up window..

What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship?
Telling you his real name..

What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man?
Big Foot's been spotted several times.

Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.


Princess L said...

You did it again. Laughed my butt off!

Jen said...

"Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels." ~Faith Whittlesey

Tempo said...

Hi Princess, Glad I tickled your funny bone. Hope your butt recovers quickly.

Hello Jen, I like that quote, funny and true. Makes old twinkle toes Fred look pathetic eh?!

Kymical Reactions said...

some ring true more than others, but they all made me laugh.

I haven't resorted to killing my husband due to the snoring, but I do sleep with ear plugs. :)

Tempo said...

Hi Kym,you wouldnt believe how many of these I've got...this is but a small selection. You'll notice I refrained from mentioning the toilet seat thing...damn, I mentioned it!

Anonymous said...

Made me laugh... LOL


Anonymous said...

Is Bigfoot True or phony? For over 400 years, there have been reporting’s of a man like creature that is certainly completely covered in hair.