Thursday, April 1, 2010
..They’re not like us.
In fact they’re SO not like us, I’m amazed they have anything to do with us at all.
If you’re going to try to connect with them, it’s best you know a little about what makes them tick..
Ok, we’ll come back to that one.
In the meantime, here are a few observations about female behavior, taken from a detailed survey carried out in a local mens hospital ward.
1. They like men to be strong, silent types who can freely discuss complex emotional issues. (WTF)
2. They try to teach babies to talk by talking like a baby.
3. They never fart, belch or sweat. (that cant be good for them eh?)
4. They kiss and hug when meeting, even if they hate each others guts.
5. Ladies don’t like jokes about being fat.
6. They cant throw when playing games but are deadly accurate during an argument.
7. They don’t understand that, “Uhuh, mmm.” Means, “ I am in total agreement with everything you just said.”
8. More than three men is a pig-fest. More than three women is a sisterhood.
9. They always pretend not to want desert…then eat yours.
10. They run funny.
11. They have not worked out that if we listen to anyone for more than two minutes we switch to our default settings.
12. They have only one real master…and that is chocolate.
13. They don’t understand why curtains don’t excite us.
Of course none of this helps us at all. We are still no wiser or able to predict what they will do or say, or when they are going to hit us.
Part of what makes them so difficult to understand is the way they change from one minute to the next. This makes it very hard to generalize about them.
However, the truth is that women are all the same…
..but not at the same time.