Thursday, December 1, 2011

How to satisfy your partner...

HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN EVERY TIME

Caress, chat, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humour, placate, stimulate, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice for, ply, accessorize, leave, return, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, treat equally, spackle, oblige, fascinate, attend, implore, bawl, shower, shave, trust, grovel, ignore, tease, defend, coax, clothe, brag about, arouse, acquiesce, fuse, fizz, rationalize, detoxify, sanctify, help, acknowledge, polish, enticing, tempting, upgrade, spoil, embrace, accept, butter-up, hear, understand, jitterbug, locomote, beg, plead, borrow, steal, climb, swim, nurse, resuscitate, repair, patch, super-glue, respect, intimate, entertain, calm, allay, kill for, die for, dream of, promise, deliver, tease, flirt, commit, lecherous, enlist, pine, cajole, murmur, snuggle, snoozle, snurfle, elevate, enervate, alleviate, serve, rub, rib, salve, bite, taste, nibble, gratify, take her places, scuttle like a crab on the ocean floor of her existence, diddle, doodle, hokey-pokey, hanky-panky, crystal blue, persuade, flip, flop, fly, don't care if I die, swing, slip, slide, provocative, slather, mollycoddle, squeeze, moisturize, humidify, lather, tingle, slam-dunk, risqué, keep on rockin' in the free world, wet, slicken, undulate, gelatinize, brush, tingle, dribble, drip, dry, knead, fluff, fold, ingratiate, indulge, wow, dazzle, amaze, flabbergast, enchant, idolize and worship, and then go back, Jack, and do it again.

HOW TO SATISFY A MAN EVERY TIME

Show up naked ... with beer.

13 comments:

Magsx2 said...

Hi Tempo,
Well I certainly can't disagree with that, it seems spot on to me. LOL. Brilliant.

Symdaddy said...

You missed out 'Give her your credit card'!

Tempo said...

Hi Mags, Women are so complicated, men are so simple...cant argue with that.
Hi Symdaddy, I stand corrected...quite right too

Belle said...

I love it! My husband? Feed him, then get naked. That's it.

I found the word "spackle" interesting!

Windsmoke. said...

When you put it that way it sounds like a lot of hard work i'm exhausted just reading about it :-).

Pearl said...

This explains my popularity with the mens.

;-)

Pearl

mapstew said...

Naked? You Funny! BEER! :¬)

Tempo said...

Hi Belle, there's a few words in there I don't quite get...but what the heck, a jokes a joke eh!
Hi Windsmoke, It sure is hard work, but who could argue that it's not worth it..
Hi Pearl, Men like women..it's as old as time itself.
Hi ya Mapstew, Yep, naked...with beer! cant think of anything else to add to that?

River said...

Naked? Then you don't get the fun of "opening" your present.
Thanks for visiting my blog.

malcfifty said...

Hi Tempo, I think you'll like this one (from a friend on Facebook):

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden he said out loud: "Lord grant me one wish."
Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said: "Because you have been faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The man said "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want to."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honour and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said: "Lord, I have been married and divorced four times. All of my wives said that I am uncaring and insensitive. I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing' and how I can make a woman truly happy."
And God thought.......
And after a few minutes He said: "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

KaLynn ("MiMi") said...

glad you found the instructions! now i need to find someone to pass it along to!! thanks for the chuckles!!

Tempo said...

Hi River, correct of course but some men are pretty basic and two instruction would be all some Neanderthals could understand...
Hi Malcfifty..Very funny...funny because it's true. Thanks mate.
KaLynn, Thats a complicated list of instructions..most men wont even read them all the way through but give up way before the end...

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