Saturday, May 19, 2012

THE BENEFITS OF BEING A MAN



1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
3. Your last name stays put.
4. The garage is all yours.
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
10. Same work .. more pay.
11. Wrinkles-add character.
12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
17. One mood, ALL the damn time.
18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
20. You can open all your own jars.
 
 
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6 comments:

magsx2 said...

Hi Tempo,
Ahhh we get the other side this time, well done.

These are all great as well. But I really like:
5, 6, 7, 8,and 15.
Just brilliant. LOL.

Twisted Scottish Bastard said...

True.

Kind of makes you proud to be a bloke, doesn't it?

PS.
You forgot 21. Can fart at any time and feel proud of it.

Windsmoke. said...

I agree with every single one of 'em :-).

Lynn Lindquist said...

Hysterical! Thanks for the laughs.

Tempo said...

Hi Mags, there has to be some balance now and then..
Hi TSB, It sure does, I'm so satisfied being a bloke...all those things we can do all by ourselves...especially #21 (Yeah!)
Hi Windsmoke, it seems all the blokes agree with the list and all the women are going 'Typical men, Humph!'
Hi Lynn and welcome, Glad you like these.

River said...

#17, that's certainly NOT true of some of the men I know. Moody so-and-so's. One of them is bi-polar and another has chronic depression, both are alcoholic, so they're excused, but the rest of the men I know can also be so moody. Up and down like yo-yo's. Perhaps they should be wearing dresses.