Friday, May 18, 2012

THE BENEFITS OF BEING A WOMAN



·   Our boyfriends' clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
·   We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
·   We can cry and get off speeding fines.
·   Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
·   We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
·   Free drinks, free dinners.
·   We can hug our friends without wondering if they're gay.
·   We can hug our friends without wondering if we're gay.
·   It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
·   We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
·   If we forget to shave, no-one has to know.
·   We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her bum.
·   If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
·   We don't have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
·   If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
·   We don't have to memorize Jackass or The Simpsons to fit in.
 ...and finally:
If we marry someone twenty years younger, we're aware that we look dumb.


Author unknown 

(but very funny, though it does make me jealous)


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5 comments:

River said...

My favourite:-if we forget to shave no-one has to know. I live in t-shirts and jeans and have been known to go for years without shaving my legs, nobody ever sees them but me.

Belle said...

Good list. Especially the life insurance.

magsx2 said...

Hi Tempo,
These are great, there are so many that I think are really funny. I love the gay ones, and the fist one is very true, but they are all good. LOL
Great post.

Twisted Scottish Bastard said...

Agreed, very funny.

But I think I detect a hint of bitterness in that last point about 20 years younger.

Tempo said...

Hi River, I dont really see the point in shaving legs, sure we all like to look our best for something special but for 95% of the time it's just wasted time.
Hi Belle, that one really is a good point since men nearly always die first.
Hi Mags, ..and true, men are always worried that people might think theyre gay but women dont seem at all worried about it. (I'm NOT gay...no really!)
Hi TSB, There must be lots of rejected wives that find themselves replaced by a younger woman and I'm guessing it was a woman who wrote this list...it has nothing to do with my GF who is only 19 years younger than me...not 20