Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Aussie Traditions...The BBQ

After 4 long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and Barbecue season. Therefore, it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the Barbecue, usually on a Saturday, the following chain of events is put into motion:
Barbecue Routine
The woman buys the food.
The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
Here comes the important part:
THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all: barbeque jokes
Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

They tell good old Aussie barbie jokes like:
Question: What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
Answer: A stick.

The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....



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6 comments:

Princess L said...

You are absolutely hysterical. Do you mind if I forward this to some friends?
P.S. I'm jealous you are starting summer. Here in Chicago, fall is greeting us with vicious winds and damp, cloudy weather. Enjoy your BBQ'ing!

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Are you kidding me? 4 months of 'cold' in Australia is not really 'cold' at all now is it. I know you are aclimated but let's not get ridiculous here. Sure we here in North Am have the BBQ but I believe that the Aussies perfected it. Such ritual. It's amazing.

Tempo said...

Hi Princess, I dont mind how or where you use the bits on my page. I follow several bloggers from the USA and England and try to have a good time to offset their suffering. It's still Spring here, hot Summer still to come.

Hiya Cal,
Come on now..sometimes it gets as low as -3 degrees in mid Winter just before the sunrise...for a few minutes.
Oh, all right, we are pretty spoiled here in Oz but I think thats offset somewhat by our incredibly hot Summers. Just now it's low to mid 20's (65-80 USA)I'm suffering..suffering I tells ya.

Jen said...

It's still HOT here. What is this winter I keep hearing rumors of?

Argentum Vulgaris said...

here endeth the lesson...

I think that would make a good post on Fizz, linked of course.

AV

Tempo said...

Hi Jen,
Your winter is still here. We're still getting rain and low temps and here it is late in spring..(not complaining)

Hiya AV,
Aussies take their BBQ's very serious..I have..3 BBQ's and two other BBQ plates for camping. Very serious and the post is pretty much spot on.