Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Payback Time

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

What did God say after she created man?
“I can do so much better”.

What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.

What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man?
Big Foot's been spotted several times.

Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.

A woman of 35 thinks of having children.
What does a man of 35 think of? Dating children.

Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.

What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.

Men are like.....Laxatives.
They irritate the shit out of you.

Men are like......Bananas.
The older they get, the less firm they are.

Men are like.....Vacations.
They never seem to be long enough.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because they already have boyfriends.

How can you tell if a man is aroused?
He's breathing.

What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
The man.

Whats the difference between a golf ball and a clitoris?
A man will go looking for a golf ball.

..and remember: marriage is grand
…divorce is twenty grand!



Tempo said...

Hi Anon, Long time no see. I'm glad you took the time to look in on me again. Cheers

Jen said...

When I find the man that is not guilty of all that, I'll get married again. I may be single for a while longer...

Tempo said...

Hi Jen, There are men that fit the bill perfectly..but most of them already have boyfriends.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.