Thursday, October 14, 2010

Now I'm in trouble!

Disclaimer: I have, and will continue to post many anti-male jokes, but now and then I must (for the right balance) post some of the other kind... Of course I love women, how could you not?!
Feel free to abuse me in the comments section.

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None - It should be opened by the time she brings it
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men break wind more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course - He'll shut up once you let him in
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was' Always'
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.



Princess L said...

Oh my God! LMAO! Thanks for the morning giggles.

Pearl said...

I have to admit that I laughed at these. They're funny!


Tempo said...

Hi Princess,
Nice to see that you're still about the place. Glad you liked them...I promise I'll do some guy jokes soon.

Hiya Pearl,
I aim to please, I'm sure glad you like them.

Culture Served Raw said...

OMG I love sexist jokes!!! Wow I am a very determined feminist but when these always get me. In Australia we have our first female PM (yay). Now you don't stop hearing

"How does Julia Gillard run the country from the kitchen?"

Tempo said...

As a lawyer for so many years in the labour movement I suspect that our Julia is more qualified to run the country than most of the Prime Ministers we've had for many, many years.
Instead of wanting the sexes to be more alike I think we should enjoy the fact that we are in fact 'chalk and cheese' and celebrate the differences...if that means a few sexist jokes then so be it...

Adorabibble said...

I love the last one so much.
ya know what makes them so funny...? they are true

Tempo said...

Theres a little truth in most good jokes Shan, thats what trips our funny bone.