Monday, October 4, 2010

Top Ten Most Overused Phrases In Personal Ads

Below is my list of the Top Ten Most Overused Phrases In Personal Ads. If YOUR ad does not contain any of the following phrases, please contact me immediately!

10) "I live life to the fullest!"
(Is this really the most profound philosophical statement you can come up with? Dig a little deeper, Nietzsche.)

9) "Loves to laugh" or "Fun-loving"
(Alright! A person who enjoys laughter and fun. What a rare individual; I must meet her at once. Just once I'd like to see "loves to sob uncontrollably for days on end.")

8) "I'm ____ years old but I look MUCH younger!"
(Sure you do. And if I just did a couple more sit-ups, I could still make the Giants starting lineup. Is self-delusion great or what?)

7) "I'm a down to earth..."
(If I see this phrase one more time, I'll... I'll... I don't know WHAT I'll do! I might be forced to actually turn off my computer and go interact with people in the REAL world. Okay, I probably wouldn't do anything THAT drastic. But you get the idea.)

6) "I can go from jeans to a cocktail dress in 10 minutes!"
(You must be very proud. I can't believe they haven't made this an Olympic event yet.)

5) "I'm a intelegent..."
(If you can't SPELL intelligent... do you see where I'm going with this? Class? Anyone?)

4) "I'm a typical (insert astrological sign here)."
(Astrology? Yeah, it's a science. I think they use it at NASA. I don't even know where to begin here. If you're looking for some insight into the nature of my character, don't ask me what my sign is. Talk to the Easter Bunny, he has the real inside track on me.)

3) "I don't have a pic, but trust me, you won't be disappointed
(Trust me, I will.)

2) "Looking for THE ONE" or "Looking for my Soulmate"
(Really? These are the most fresh and original lines you can come up with? Your mother and I had such high hopes for you. Oh well, there's always trade school.)
And the Number One Most Overused Phrase In A Personal Ad is...

1) "Don't worry, I plan to loose [sic] the weight real soon."

(Ok, it's probably just me, but why am I still worried?)
Put them all together, and the end result usually looks something like this....

"Fun-loving, down-to-earth woman with 5 kids from 5 different fathers seeks a intelegint guy who loves to laugh. Must be in shape! I'm temporarily 50 pounds overweight, but don't worry, I plan to loose the weight right after I finish these fries! Must look like Brad Pitt and be no older than 35! I'm 49 but I look MUCH younger! I don't have a pic, but trust me, you won't be disappointed! I'm a Libra so I live life to the fullest! I get along best with Geminis who have six-figure incomes! Must have a big heart and a bigger house, cuz the landlord just kicked us out!"

(Well, as long you have realistic expectations.)

The above was posted on Best of Craigs List. (isn’t it amazing where you’ll look when bored enough?)



Pearl said...

I, too, get along with people who make six figures!

I also like long walks on the beach and bubble baths. My pet peeves include people who jump lines and people who judge other people...



Jen said...

Libras are known for being flighty...I think I should add that to my profile.

Adorabibble said...

Gemini aren't rich, they are way to distracted...
(I should know)
I love CL.

Tempo said...

Hi Pearl,
Dont we all like people who make a heap of dough? This glass celing thing is bad for us guys's very hard to find women who make 6 figures.. As for judgemental.. the guy who wrote this piece was very judgemental eh! LOL

Hiya Jen,
Flighty eh?! Who wouldnt be after all the crap we have to put up with these days, not at all sure it's Libras only...

Hey Shan,
Leo's arent rich either (rats) I guess its the age we live in that it's more a matter of having debt than a matter of having the money. I read CL when I'm really, really bored sometimes. (thats my story and I'm sticking to it)

Ivana Dragicevic said...

haha love it! I'm glad I came across this blog. and i second your claim that Leos, alas, are not rich. I hope this is not a typical Leo trait..

Tempo said...

Hi Ivana,
Welcome to my world.